11 Feb 2015

Widow

Hi friends,
 
I firstly need to "apologise" for how morbid this LO is, but it was something that I needed to do.
 
I have used the latest challenge on CSI for this one.
 
 
This is what I put together yesterday.  Gosh, I do love being in my craft space... it's so calming for me.
 
 
Scheme : All there
Evidence : polka dots, woodgrain, alphabet as design element, book page, metal, twine
Testimony : Acrostic poem of WIDOW (pasted on the back)
 
When you left me
I had not idea of what I was supposed to do
Do I just carry on, accept, live, breathe?
Or do I try to find a way to join you?
Wondering now, where this path is going to take me.
 
(I have added more journaling than this acrostic, though, and threw in some IW's).
This selfie was taken on 06 February 2015.  I had the evening to myself because I wanted to be alone - it SHOULD have been our 16 year wedding anniversary.  I have never felt so alone in my entire life; and today I have still not recovered from the new and intense grief that overcame me that evening.  But to be alone, was what I wanted.  I so desperately wanted to channel you, find you, feel your presence, but my sheer grief was blocking me. 
I don't know where this brand spanking new road is going to take me, but I know that I have to adopt the wisdom that all things will work out in the end, as difficult as that is to say AND hear.  I know what you want for me. I know you want me to fly.  I know you want me to know that the new possibilities for me are endless; and that in time I will be okay. 
I just don't know how or where to start - and I'm so ridiculously impatient and frustrated to calm my head so that I can be in a moment to "hear" what it is you want for me.
I really need your help.  But first, I need to learn to unblock so that your messages and signs can come to me.
 
Here are some close-ups.  This piece really was hard to do, because I needed to "FACE" myself.  I've been avoiding mirrors because I don't like what I see there.  The reality is too much.

 
I glued random letters  and some metal bits down, layered it with gesso and then misted over it.

 
I tried to "liven up" this piece a bit by using the bling - it just looked too morbid without it!


 
I placed the metal angel wings over the T for Travers.



 
I found an old dictionary in a junk shop and tore out the page that had "widow" on.  Thought it apt to use that page on this LO.

 
Thanks for looking.
 
XX


2 comments:

  1. Don't apologise for your page being "morbid". You are being honest and real and raw...and you are in a process where you need healing. I believe that getting it out through this awesome hobby is therapy and healing for you. Praying for God to surround you with His love xx

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  2. WOW!! this is a fabulous page and way to express your feeling!!! Very powerful!!! Keep scrapping!!!

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