28 Jan 2015

Journey

So my next post is just CSI Case File 151 and it includes a sketch by the uber gorgeous Em.
 
 
 
Here is what I did with it.
 
 
Scheme : Check
Evidence : frame, string, loops, texture paste
Testimony : I used the IW attitude and reluctant
 
My journaling is behind the pink "pouch"
 
My Beary,
A little while ago, when life returned to normal after the Festive Season had run its course and school started, I had the opportunity to finally have some time alone.  The responsibility of looking after and entertaining Isabella was not consuming me, as she had been at school.  I just sat myself down on the couch to be still - because I have been SO busy distracting myself from the inevitable - FACING LIFE.
I am reluctant to admit that there is a stubborn, headstrong part of me that is ready to admit “You Got This”.  It’s during the odd occasions when optimism rears its head, that I feel like this.
I’ve put so much in place already and done so much planning for my and Isabella’s future.  Control Freak, much?
I know that facing this mourning period is all about attitude.  EVERYTHING is all about your attitude - how you approach it.  I’m just finding it incredibly hard to have a good attitude.  To find a positive side to the tragedy of having lost my one true love.  My soul mate.  My anchor.
I KNOW what you want from me.  I just know it.  I know you want me to be happy (eventually) and that you don’t want me to wallow (too much).  I know you love Isabella and I; and that it is up to me and me alone to ensure that we can get through this.
It’s just really hard.
That’s all.
 
And now for some close-ups.

 
I love stitching. Love, love, love.  The end.

 
The pink paper is almost like a thin tissue - beautiful.  Chippie has just been inked.

 
I love this string - totally works with you - no fighting required!

 
The frame is also a chippie, inked.


 
I miss him so much.


Everyday

Hello again,
 
Two posts for today.
 
For the first one, I am combining the ScrapAfrica challenge (one little word) with CSI Case CC-4.
 
 
Here is what I worked on yesterday.
 
 
Scheme : Check
Evidence : stripes, silver metal, numbers (stamp), hearts, glitter, texture paste
Testimony : I used the IW overcome and celebrate
 
My journaling is tucked behind the cluster, on the blue pull-out piece on the right:
 
My word for this year is Everyday.  It’s going to be QUITE a journey each day trying to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and my life.  I feel in my heart that all will come right eventually.
On most days, I am so overcome by emotion that I battle to take deep breaths.  I go from being utterly shattered, to optimistic, to lonely, to devastation.  In minutes - my emotions run amok.
I am trying very, very hard to celebrate your life.  Your wonderful, awesome life.  I have had a party to celebrate your birthday recently - all our friends were here with me and it was wonderful being surrounded and cocooned by their love.  Mostly, it was wonderful because my strongest connection to you is when I am with them.
This journey is going to be rough, rocky and for the most part, completely unpredictable.  I don’t know where I am and what I’m going to do - or SUPPOSED to do - next.
I can’t plan ahead, because I don’t know where my next set of emotions will take me.  I have never felt so utterly fragile and useless in my entire life.
I know that I have a strength inside me that has yet to present itself in its proper form.  I know that it is fighting to get out - but I am blocking it, albeit inadvertently.  I don’t know how to unleash it.  I think it’s because I don’t really want to accept that you are gone.
Every day I thank God for Isabella.  Were it not for her, I don’t know where I’d be now .... Perhaps in an institution with drool hanging from my mouth.
Even though you are not here in your physical form, I know in my heart that I will eventually feel your constant presence as I start a new life, a new journey without you.
I miss you.  I love you.  Forever.
 
And now for some close-ups.


I used my glitz glitter bottles to doodle - you can't see it much in these photographs, but it has added such gorgeous sparkle to the piece.
 

 
Little wooden hearts, which I coloured with fineliner khoki pens.



 
I had to add the little Bluebird - because Isabella is our Bluebird!  The gauze piece is actually a leftover bit I cut off a tiny tapestry that Isabella received for Christmas (us scrappers, we keep EVERYTHING!!)

 
Chippie title which I just inked using a pearlised wheat colour.

 
Hope.  Another word which will ring true in my life going forward.

 
Here you can see the numbers in the stamp I used.  As well as more "doodles" with my glitz glitter.

 
The chippie frame was inked with silver and then I also used some more silver glitz on it.

 
Thanks for popping by.
 


Happy Days

Hi,

Yes, it's been a long while since I have posted.  For those of you that don't know - the reason for my absence is because my husband was taken from us very suddenly on the 25th of November last year.

It has been - and still is! - an incredibly rocky road, filled with ups then downs then down-erers.

In saying this, I should "warn" you that most of my LO's going forward will be a testament to or a memory created with Travers.  I want to put a whole bunch of LO's and pages together for Isabella to cherish one day.  I am utterly fearful of the fact that she may one day forget him ... what he looks like ... what we did together ... what she meant to him.

I am more grateful than ever for my craft; now I get to document his life and it is also a form of therapy for me.

So, onto my first challenge in 2 months or something like that...

I have combined the latest sketch from Let's Scrap (where I am on the DT) with the colour challenge over at CSI (the case was closed on 22 Jan).

Here is the sketch:

And here is the CSI challenge:
 
 
Here is what I did:
 
 
 
I must admit - putting this together was a rather painful process; these photographs were taken the Saturday before he died.  They are the last photographs I have of him .....
 
Scheme : Check
Evidence : polka dots, ribbon, scallops, paint
Testimony : I used a prompt from paper wishes
 
My journaling is behind the larger of the two images - the one of Travers and Isabella and it reads as follows:
 
22 November 2014
This was our last little family outing before your daddy died on 25 November 2014.  It was your Playball Sporty Day and it was absolutely perfect.
Mommy couldn’t take part in the activities with you, because I’d just had a minor procedure in hospital.
Your daddy did everything with you while I wielded my camera (as usual).
You made us both incredibly proud and it was so special for us to see how you had developed so many ball, co-ordination and sporty skills over the course of the year that you have been attending Playball.
Afterwards, we sat down in the shade and you enjoyed a well-deserved ice-cream - it was HOT!
You and daddy were playing a little game where you were sitting down and he’d pretend to push you over.  You kept on asking him to “do it again, daddy, do it again”.  The chuckles that ensued were absolutely priceless.
My wish is that in creating this layout - and the ones still to come - is that you remember your daddy as a 100% hands on, fun, silly, “naughty” daddy.
That he is and was always there for you - for us.
Gosh, he was so proud of you on this day!  We underestimated you - I was stunned to see you hit a ball with a cricket bat!  You took it all in your stride as if to say “yes, and??”. A real little show-off!
I’m sorry that your daddy won’t be around in his physical form for you in the future, Isabella.  But I am here.  And I will continue to do what I know he would have wanted.
You make us very, very proud, little one.  I will endeavour to keep this remarkable man’s legacy and memory alive - I am absolutely petrified that at your young age, you will start to forget him. 
Thank goodness for scrapbooks!
 
And here are some additional close up photo's of my LO.
 
 
I have really started enjoying adding stitching to my LO's - yes, it's ALOT of work, but the end result is always so lovely and it somehow just makes this LO look a little more polished.
 
 
The title was painted and while the paint was still wet, I threw on some embossing powder and embossed.
 
 
Just love the stitching!!
 
 
 
I also used my water colour pencils to give some definition to the scallops on the paper - it had an ombre effect which I wanted to highlight.  I used my embossing tool to 'round' the edges to give the page a little more depth and texture.
 
Thanks for stopping by!